While being away

I’ve recently bumped into this article and it really made me think.  It made me have a deja vu, a deja-vu I have absolutely every single time I am about to go home or when I finally arrive home and I need to meet relatives. The discussions are all the same. When are you going to stop travelling? When are you going to lower your standards? and find a boy-get married- have kids? life is passing by.

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I don’t want to sound mean, but even if maybe some people may call me a ,,career woman”, I  believe that through everything I’ve done so far, I have not let life pass by . Therefore, when I read articles like: People ask me when I get married, but I’m in the middle of my career and I want to travel, I want to explore the world! I truly believe some people have wasted their youths. Being 35, a full adult I may say, with personality frustrations, must be quite depressing. 

However, the question still remains:

When am I going to settle down?

I think I will never settle down. Everytime I set up a journey, a small or a big trip, everytime I open my luggage, I feel a flush of memories and smells and feelings going through my whole body, an excitement that cannot be compared to anything else… and I forget about all my sadness and my angers and I just go. 

I will never settle down because I am a Sagittarius. I am stubborn, driven and extremely motivated. I’ve lived in 6 countries so far, I’ve met thousands of people, I’ve run an organisation for almost 2 years. I’ve seen how it is on the ,,dark side”, how happy you can be when you work 24/ 7 just to see other people happy or your dreams came true. I am sure being married is never going to make me that happy. Other kind of happy, maybe yes, but that feeling that I am getting when I accomplish something I’ve been working for months, like 900 people events. Nothing can beat that.

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I cannot settle down. Yesterday, my Momentum app said: ,,Once your brain is stretched by an idea, it can never go back to its original shape”. And I think it is perfectly right. 

I cannot settle down. Everytime I go back home, I feel like my skin is shrinking and my mind only goes one direction: How much I’ve missed mom but when am I leaving again? I cannot accept the fact that most people, my ex classmates, friends, acquintances, have chosen mediocrity, from my point of view. Let me explain: move back to your parents place/ city, get married with an average dude/dudette, get an average job, get a small or a big wedding, have kids and eventually make a Facebook account where you both can have access cause probably you don’t trust each other enough for separate ones. Of course, all those people are happy in their own way and not all want or can travel, wander the world, run to look for themselves, for their true self. However, if you have chosen to have kids at 21, don’t put pressure on me to do the same. Let me do it my way. Let me decide for myself, when it’s time for me to do, or don’t do things.

When I read articles with 21 things you need to be happy or 5 things successful people do, I believe its ridiculously funny. Why? Because you are the only one who knows what truly makes YOU happy. Maybe travelling and riding elephants in Thailand is not the answer to your frustrations and I think this kind of articles are only going to stir more frustrations in you. The mediocre you will want to read more, to get the feeling that maybe one day, by the time you’re 30 you will get to do any or all of those stuff. But the truth be told, most of us will never get to do them. I cannot read this, because I dont want to be given advice, as for my soul, so far, I’ve done everything I wanted. I cannot say that one of the things I’ve learned in my 25 years of existance is to ,,Embrace your uniqueness instead of questioning why you’re the way you are”  ( I’ve already done that when I was 14 and I moved out of my parents place for a new school) or that ,, the harder you work the luckier you get”. Things are not always this way and I’ve experienced it on my own skin. 

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When I am away, I feel appreciated, because the jobs I’m getting are well paid, because the people I’m seeing want to know my story, because nobody is asking me what series I’ve seen with my boyfriend or when I last saw my parents. When I’m away, I don’t feel I need to give explanations to anybody and I can live the lifestyle I want without anybody doubting me in any way. 

Therefore, please let us, people who wander, be free. I travel because sometimes this is the only way I can, emotionally, to get back on track. I travel because I want to see my friends, those strangers whom I’ve met in my good and bad times and with whom I discovered beautiful things about life and I have not read articles that taught me how to love myself. I travel for business and for work and I travel, not because I am always running from something, but maybe because I am running towards something. And I am sure, that when I will find that something, my life is gonna be amazing. 

,,This is the hardest part about traveling, and it’s the very reason why we all run away again”

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